Top 5 Dead Sexiest Dead Writers

Forever a sexy profession, writers are not always the sexiest people.  This trend is well documented.  While you can’t judge a book by its author’s photo, you can certainly judge its author.  Look, who wants to read a book written by a freakin’ nerd?  We sifted through our stacks to bring you our picks for the 5 dead sexiest dead writers.

Julio Cortázar:  In a profession that consumes more cigarettes than any other, no writer, living or dead, has looked as good with a smoke stick stuck between his lips as Julio “El Fumador” Cortázar.  Gaze into those brooding pupils and you’ll fall so hard for this eligible Argentinean you’ll be puking bunny rabbits.

Anton Chekov: In relief to Tolstoy’s Old Testament God look, Anton Chekov cultivated a style that literate hipsters everywhere try desperately to imitate.  If the Russian master were alive today, you could find him sipping cold brew at a coffee shop in Brooklyn, making eyes at some tatted-temptress across the room.

Sylvia Plath:  While the literary world continues to debate who was the better poet—Sylvia Plath or her British laureate husband, Ted Hughes—there is little question who looks dreamier on a dust jacket.  Equal parts sexy librarian and Ivy League bombshell, Plath can ring our bell jar any day

Ernest Hemingway.  In early years, a mustachioed “Papa Bear” Hemingway seduced the literary world like some cherubic Tom Selleck.  Near the end of his life, he kept a well coiffed salt and pepper beard, pioneering the lumbersexual look for the rugged and trendy men of Portland, Oregon.

Emily Dickinson:  Known for taking risks in her poetry as much as her dress, the monochromatic Miss Dickinson inspires Goth culture and fashion more than any other Victorian wordsmith.  We’ll stay in and binge on Netflix with this storied homebody any night.